Let me start by saying: I was going to be the perfect mom! We are all laughing right? Right! I’ll have my post on this at a later date but this statement rings true for so many topics.
I would judge so much when I was pregnant with my first. We are ALL guilty of it. But after having kids, mom judging/ shaming stopped almost immediately. Mom life is a rough game of survival of the fittest and hell, most days the kids win.
When I see a mom ”losing it“ in public now I wonder what she’s been dealing with all day. Has her child not listened? Has she had a rough day at work and maybe taking it out on her children? Is she going through a major life change that she Is internally struggling with?
When I see a mom not paying attention to her child at the park because she’s having conversation with another mom or adult I don’t think she’s neglecting her child. I think about if she’s a stay at home mom. I think maybe this is her only outlet for her day that she looks forward to before heading back home to do all the tasks she needs to do before bed. I think that she may need interaction with another person her age before she goes insane.
When I see a mom on her phone at the doctors office, park, library or anywhere I think she needs a break. Maybe she has work emails (ME!) or a client messaging her with immediate attention. Maybe she just needs to see what other people are doing because she’s had a tough day thus far.
Every child’s needs are so different. Every mom and family situation is SO different. Every day is SO DIFFERENT! Some days we are majorly going to screw up. That is ok. One day of off parenting or not fully invested parenting is not going to define you or your child. The amount of nights I have cried alone for feeling like the biggest asshole of a mom; I never before thought that would happen.
We as adult humans wake up in odd moods. Some days we feel great, sometimes we are sick, some days we are stressed and are slightly irrational. Our children have the same days. Sometimes they wake up not feeling the best but can’t vocalize it. Some days they have so much energy to burn and we don’t know what hit them. Some days they just want to be independent and have nothing to do with you. We all have our moments and our days. So how dare YOU, Susan, who knows nothing of me or my situation judge me at the park, at the grocery store, in a parking lot. SHAME ON YOU.
This picture perfect social media life is not helping our society. We are all trying to make it work each day. Once we think we have something figured out, the kids flip the script on us. I really challenge you to open up your minds and your viewpoints. This is what I did and still do. When I am out and see a mom struggling I am the first to help; I got your back. We all need more of this. Help support each other instead of bringing them down.
I clearly feel very passionately about this. I will not be a bystander. I will speak up. I feel I am shamed so much by those closest to me for my decisions. I am not the same mother as anyone I know. That is ok. I accept that. Mamas reading this that feel the same, accept that you’re doing the best you can each day with what you are given. I see you, I hear you and screw those others that don’t. Find your tribe to support you and roll with them giving 0 you know whats what judgey Judy down the block has to say. My heart is with you!